Tag: Photographer

Earlier this week my son grabbed my phone and asked me to smile. Of course, out of my mouth came the standard mom response, “why?”

That one moment flooded me with memories.

Flashing through my head were the countless images of the photographs that my grandparents took on their road trips. Images of the photographs that were taken during vacations while I was still a child.

If you’ve lived through life before the digital age, I know you remember all the moments where you questioned if the shot you were taking was the one that you wanted to take when you only have 24 frames on your roll. And how excited you were when you had any surprise bonus shots after you took your 24th picture. The pure excitement of what you were going to take a picture of, what you thought you would never be able to shoot.

There was one specific image that came to mind when my son told me to smile. It was the one picture that I took on a childhood Disney Land trip. We were done at the park for the day and waiting for the trolley to arrive to take us back to our hotel. My mom sat on the curb, talking with my dad. She took out her coin purse and had just pulled out her key when I snapped my picture.

We were all excited to get our pictures back from being developed. Our family tradition was always to sit down together to look at all of our memories that we captures. When we got to my roll of film, my mom’s response to the picture I took of her was why did I take that picture? Why did I waste that one frame?

I don’t remember my response. I probably just shrugged and said I don’t know.

But here is the thing. That picture stands out in my mind to this day, because it was a candid moment in life. It wasn’t posed. It wasn’t staged. It wasn’t the fake smile while you grit through your teeth, “take the picture already.” This was a picture of my mom in a moment of being my mom.

I don’t know if my son said anything while my mind went down memory lane. But I stopped tying my son’s soccer cleats and smiled for his picture.

Take the pictures.

Let others take pictures of you.

During one open house that I was working, to sign up clients to decorate their weddings, this whole conversation came up. One bride was on a budget and was talking with her mom about what they wanted to do while talking with me. Part of me hated what came out of my mouth. But the other part stands by it 100%. For weddings, don’t ever skip out on having a person designated to take photographs. Even videos are important.

Weddings are one of the few times in life where all your family members come to celebrate with you. It’s the one time where the majority of family differences are set aside. (Yes, some differences can and still present themselves, but people are generally trying to put on their best behavior.) And it never fails that a year, maybe a handful of years later a loved one dies. And it was the last time that you saw them.

My wedding wasn’t the last time that my dad was in family pictures. But it was the last time that it was just him and I. And I was blessed to have a video taken of me dancing with my dad. You see, my boys never got the chance to meet my dad. I have plenty of pictures of him. But I grew up before the digital age. There were home video cameras, but it was one luxury items that was never on my family’s shopping list. And truth be told, my sisters have pictures of their weddings, but they didn’t have video of their weddings and their moments with my dad. (Sometimes we forget how quickly technology has made jumps and leaps in our lifetimes.)

This wedding video has become so much more than something my husband and I look back on and remember our forever day. I’ve sat down with my boys and periodically watch it with them so they can see who my dad was.

And this is precisely the reason why I absolutely do not regret talking myself out of a deal. I never wish anyone to lose a loved one. But I’m grateful if anyone has the opportunity to choose making lasting memories with loved ones, because there are moments of comfort that come when you can connect them in a time or day that the connection can’t be had.

Life changes so quickly. One moment you have a loved one with you and you can never imagine life without them. Or you have a friend or loved one that you are closer than close with and then life happens and there’s a difference. But the fond memories are still there.

I encourage you to make those moments.

And for all the brides that are planning their weddings that are on the side where a loved one is unable to be present for your big day, there are so many options that are coming more and more available to you to include them.

For my wedding, my husband missed his father on that day. He had passed away from cancer before we met, so it was physically impossible to have him present. The one thing that I did for my groom was plan a meaningful song for my husband to walk out to. Since his father was Irish, I chose an Irish song that my husband never knew before but spoke volumes to him. My Mother in Law also brought a picture of my Father in Law to set in a seat for him.

I know the photo in a chair is an antiquated idea, so I completely understand if that is last thing you want to do to honor a deceased loved one at your event. There are so many other brilliant ideas that are out there.

Families who have had advanced notice that a loved one would not live long enough for a wedding have made videos with wedding blessings/wishes, written letters, or even provided personal items for the “something old”.

Now there are the additional technology ideas of having a Q Code set up with the voice of the loved one that people can scan and hear the person. Or Spotify recordings that are being used. And who knows what will come in the near future to honor loved ones.

Even now, I’m kind of dating myself by remembering how Natalie Cole sang a duet with her father Nat King Cole. It wasn’t for a wedding, but just the desire of hers to fulfill her lifelong wish to sing with him. She had a well known black and white video of him singing Unforgettable, and she sang with the video of her father. Maybe that’s what you do to make a new memory with a loved one, where the time has passed.

Maybe your loved one is a grandmother who tatted or quilted. In fact, a Boho Wedding featuring a loved one’s tatted lace or doilies would be absolutely perfect! If it’s a small item that could be easily overlooked, make a shadow box and set it on the entry table. Or place it as part of your centerpiece on your sweet heart’s table.

There are even ways of incorporating a Grease Monkey loved one’s creations. Metal art or wheel hubs may not be appropriate for the wedding ceremony. But they can be incorporated in the decor for a cocktail hour or reception space.

The options are absolutely endless!

If you have a loved one that you want to honor, simply pick items that represent them. Any great decorator can find a meaningful way of incorporating absolutely anything so that it looks like its part of the larger decoration concept. It can still be classy. And you can absolutely still have the presence of your loved one with you on your big day.