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The more that you keep tabs on what’s going on around the world, you start to see just how fragile economies have been the last few years. Decades in some countries.

And while many dream about the “good life” in Western countries, there are still families who struggle and fight to scrape by. And the honest truth is the families who aren’t even making it here in the United States still have it better off than many other countries. It’s hard to recognize it in the middle of trials and suffering… but things can definitely get worse.

Right now I’m in preparation mode for the fall session of our family self sufficiency group. Each time we start this group I’m surprised by how the skills I take for managing my family’s tight budget is something that I take for granted. And that is the reason why my family makes times for this. Our society has failed our families.

It was only a couple generations ago, during World War II when governments told families to build Victory Gardens. They encouraged families to provide for themselves in order to free up resources to send to the troops. And now, almost 80 years later, governments have changed the music they march to. Now governments want people to depend on them for their food and housing. Step in time to the music and you can live a modest life. Step out of line you’re out in the cold because you don’t know how to care for yourself.

This is wrong!

Everyone looked to the United States because of the American Dream. But now our constitution is under fire and the right for life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness is quickly becoming a dream made of vapors because we’re being sold out to the highest bidder.

But no matter how the politics look (are currently being defined) in the United States (or in any other country for that matter), there is one absolute truth that can never be taken from you.

What you know is available to you to use for your entire life. No one can take that away from you.

And that is why I share what I know. My knowledge is always available to my family. But what lasting good is it if my neighbor doesn’t know what I know and the quality of their lives can be improved by that knowledge. Even in the middle of oppression, knowledge can make the difference between someone’s today and their tomorrow.

One skill I want to talk about today is bartering.

At some point in history every society has depended on bartering. And this very skill has been nearly forgotten in Western Society. With the push toward digital currency, bartering has been shoved into the back corner of libraries collecting dust.

The beauty behind bartering is that it builds relationships. Or it can break others if one party is opportunistic and trading unfairly. But even with those broken relationships, the person who ultimately feels the penalty is the one who is opportunistic. Those who have a heart for fair trade with their neighbor will always have neighbors who want to trade with them. And neighbors look out for each other. If someone is not fair, you can bet that others will hear about it.

For those of you not familiar with bartering, it’s nothing more than a pure and simple trade of goods or services with another person for their goods or services. Everyone can participate because it’s not dependent on the money you have available on a credit card or in a bank account. There’s not a power of authority that can freeze your currency, because no currency is exchanged. You’re not dependent on the going rate of the currency for your region, or what the stock market is doing. Your trade is based solely on the value that you and the other person are placing on the goods and services being traded. No one tells you what the retail value is. The parties involved decide for themselves what a fair and equitable trade is.

Remember when you were a kid and you traded with your friend? Neither of you knew the market price. You just traded because you were willing to exchange what you had for what your friend was willing to give you. (And then that memory might also be attached to another memory of where a parent or other adult stepped in when an unfair trade happened. And that was because the value they placed on the items was out of balance.)

Does unfair bartering happen?

Yes. Human nature tries to get the better deal, at the cost of someone else.

The way you combat unfair bartering is by agreeing to trade rules up front (before negotiations start) and by valuing the person you are trading with. If you value the other person, you will automatically fight against human nature of taking advantage of them. You will look for a win-win exchange for both of you.

Is everyone going to trade with you?

No. And there will be any number of reasons why.

My first time bartering, I faced this “rejection” alone. And it smacked me in the face with my very first attempted trade. And it hurt.

The problem is that we associate being told “no” or “no trade” as something is wrong with us as a person or that what we brought to trade is of no or little value.

BUT THAT IS NOT THE TRUTH!

The story is that for this first bartering event, I went with a backpack filled with one type of goods: crochet and knit items. And I went straight for the person who was the popular trader of the day.

With just that little bit of information, there’s two very valuable things that I learned.

1) the most popular trader has their pick of what is brought to the event. They have the luxury to turn down trades and still have a great day.

2) I limited my value and contribution down to just one type of product. When I went I thought I just needed to bring my “best” to be successful. But that limited the amount of business I could have. Not everyone was in need of the items I brought. There were a number of people who had no interest. There were also others who already had the items that I brought.

For example, the popular trader loved the blanket I brought, but had a house full of blankets and so it was a no trade.

As I said earlier, that sting of “no” caused a negative emotional response deep inside me. I had to get out of my emotions and talk myself back into the event I came to make trades, and free up some closet space.

Be prepared for the No.

I went in expecting only yeses and trades. It took thinking on my feet to pull myself together, make myself vulnerable, and get in there and trade.

I have no shame in saying that I went to the table of the person who had no one looking for a barter. She didn’t have what I wanted to bring home BUT I came to trade and I was determined to make at least one trade before leaving. So I traded for her one product. And mostly I was moved because she really wanted what I brought. And I know that the trade between us could take away the sting of failure. We made a fair trade, even if I walked away with a product I didn’t want. The value of that trade was that I met an expectation I placed on myself.

I don’t recommend trading for something you don’t want.

But if you’re new to bartering be prepared to hear no. And have a game plan in place for how you want to bounce back from what feels like rejection. Try not to leave an event with no trades being made. You want to have a positive note to go home on. Not all bartering events are going to be difficult to make a deal. So find a way of turning a not great event into a memory where you will try again.

My favorite bartering event, to date, is the most recent one I attended. It had a feel that was different from my very first event. It could have been because there were established rules that were agreed upon before the event. Or it could have been the lay out. Everyone was encouraged to arrive ahead of time to set up and take a look at everyone’s offerings. But no trades or negotiations were supposed to start ahead of the start time. I actually loved this pre-event moment. There was a world of difference in talking with people, getting to know each other, learning each other’s names. The focus started off not on the goods, but on the people.

Mind you, I married a social butterfly. I have to work at being social and building relationships. But there was a massive difference in being able to meet and speak with people without the pressure of making a deal.

And this all goes back to what I mentioned earlier. There’s a difference when you trade with a neighbor vs. a stranger. Will I trade with a stranger? Absolutely. But there’s not that connection with that person. You’re not invested in them and it’s harder to get into that mode of thinking “how do I choose to trade with them so we both benefit equally”.

For example, one of the ladies that I talked quite a bit with we traded a lot with each other. And the funny thing is that we both brought bread goods. So of course what each of us brought bread wise we could make for ourselves. So even though that eliminated some of our offerings to each other, we saw what was unique to us that we valued in the other. But because I invested in getting to know this other woman, it was easy to see value in her ceramics in which she slightly undervalued herself and her skills. I had no problem in trading in what she perceived her favor, because I traded with her on the level that I valued her work.

Now bartering doesn’t work like this last example all the time. That was a special moment with a trading relationship that was built. And I want to draw attention to this because in an ideal world, where everything is perfect, this is how we would treat each other. When we have goodness inside of us, when we look for the success in others, this is an example of what this looks like. But this only comes with relationship.

My Advice for Successful Bartering

The first thing you can do for yourself is bring more than one item type to trade with. Have options for when you show up with the same items as someone else.

There’s a idiom, cast a wide net. If you want to catch a lot of fish, you cast a wide net. In the same manner, if you want lots of trades cast wide your options.

Here’s a picture of the variety that I brought with me to this last event.

I brought home the majority of what I took. But people wanted some of my last minute adds to my trade list. And the things that I thought I had a good chance of trading out were nothing more than talking points. And I was okay with that. I love giving out information and knowledge to help enrich other people’s lives. These items sparked conversations that might not have happened otherwise.

One thing that I value from the season in life that I spent in sales is that people buy when they feel seen, valued above just a sale.

There was an obvious difference between my backpack day and this table day.

Don’t get me wrong, I knew before hand that I had too much. But this was my first time with this group of traders. I had no idea, walking in, what they would be interested in. By the end of that event, I knew what I could leave behind in the future, what to bring more of next time, and ideas of what new items to offer next time. But I don’t regret this “over packing” moment, because it gave me the information that I needed to be more successful next time.

Another thought for success is Build Relationships when you show up. Everyone shows up unsure. Everyone brings doubts and second guessing with them. But when you can see someone and value them enough to get their name and just simply chit chat for no gain, you show yourself. Half the personality types out there are the types that focus on numbers and get tasks done. The other half of personalities out there is people and relationship driven. They will make the deal because they simply feel connected to you.

Be Honest. You don’t have to make deals with everyone. Just don’t string people along. Remember that half the personality traits of people are driven by relationships and how they’re perceived by others. By being honest and not stringing people along (that you might be interested in something they brought), you show yourself as being fair with people, which is different but related to driving a fair deal.

Okay, time for a funny story which completely fits in with being honest. So this last bartering event was the first one for my kids. I kid you not, every time I turned my back they would grab my “high ticket”/high interest items and kept trying to take them over to the lady who brought cookies so they could have one cookie. I love their enthusiasm and willingness to go cashless to get what they want. But boy did they have a thing or two to learn! Of course the cookie lady was happy to trade out of bartering balance. But you should have seen her face when my youngest (who was listening to what I was telling the older two) brought her the smallest item that I brought. She was devastated by offering and was visibly trying hard not to tell the yougest person at the event No. Fortunately, I was there to read the body language. I told my youngest that what he brought over was too small and to go bring over the next size up. The body language changed and everyone was happy.

I’ll tell you what, if you ever need to have a funny moment in the middle of a bartering event, watch the children! They will never fail to push the rules, cause a person to debate themselves, and just cause laughter… all for a single cookie!

Related to being honest, don’t be hasty with your No. Four of my trades came from tables that I initially dismissed. I was approached by these people because they saw something of mine that they were interested in. I could see their excitement and I knew that I had to be honest with them and not string them along. What turned my No into a Yes was taking a minute and focus solely on their table for a minute. I didn’t have an immediate need, BUT I saw how I could use their item and transform it into something new–whether to replenish ingredients, trying a new skill or idea, or their product makes one of my products go up in value and appeal. And quite honestly, I would have lost out on the value of those items and what they bring to me if I stuck with a hasty No.

Final Thoughts on Bartering

There are plenty of cultures today who still practice bartering. It’s different from haggling (which a lot of Western Civilization will say they hate with a passion). There is an art form to it. And it’s scary at first. There will be moments where there is an unfair trade, probably at your expense. But there is truly something about when you have a good event. There’s a satisfaction that you will never get making a cash or credit transaction in a brick and mortar store. There’s a different connection that you make with people that transports you back in time, to better days.

I don’t think that we will ever go back into a barter system. Not with how ingrained currency has become in society. However there’s also a sense of control in your circumstances in life that just doesn’t happen with currency. With Bartering, you’re in control of who you trade with and what you trade for. You have the option of continuing a relationship and building community. Especially in a day and age when it’s not common to have a relationship with the neighbor who lives next to you, it’s important to build community with someone. It feels like the governments are trying so hard to turn people against each other. And in the middle of the world turning upside down, there’s a level of comfort knowing that if you need one thing, you can go to that man there. Or if you need this thing, that lady is your connection. It’s not limited by what your financial resources look like. Nor is it dependent on what you find on your local shop’s shelves. It is entirely based off of the connections that you make and your control of what you have to offer in product, skills, or services.

All of a sudden there’s hope in the world around you again. You have options.

And it’s not something completely foreign in thought. Think of your relationships with your current friends. What trades have you made with them recently? You probably wouldn’t call it bartering, but that’s what you’ve been doing all along. Have you taken turns buying each other lunch or coffee? Maybe you gave them a coat you no longer wear and they gave you shoes that they just didn’t want to return. You help them when their car broke down and they took you to the airport… Part of human life is connecting with the people around us and we find ways of making each other’s lives a little easier. That is bartering.

Maybe it’s time to take the currency out of our daily exchanges and insert a little bartering here and there.